Surprise Post!! Lake Malawi trip cut short---AAARGH!!

Hello, all you faithful readers, especially those logging on to read my blog on Saturday, knowing that I didn't actually plan to post anything on this day, as I intended to be floating out in Cape MacClear, visiting all the thousands of fish species and forgetting about the phone, internet, classes, strike demonstrations, and other such matters for awhile.

However, it was not meant to be. Let me tell you the story.

First of all, I take full responsibility for bringing on the bad kharma by leaving a good hour later than planned, due to a need to drop by my office (yes, to do my quick blog posting, but also to take care of some necessary e-mails for work). Unfortunately, as is often the case with me, my visit to the office took quite a bit longer than planned, and in the end, we left at 4 p.m. rather than the planned departure of 3 p.m. Deliwe was a bit annoyed (not visibly, of course), but understanding. Luckily, we were both ready to go when I got home, so packed the car quickly and were off.

The first problem occurred after about 10 minutes on the road, when Deliwe mentioned something about cameras, and I remembered that I'd left the memory stick for my digital camera inside my computer, so I would not be able to take ANY pictures during our trip!! AAARRGH!! What a stupid mistake!! Doubly-stupid because I have 2 memory sticks, so when I take one out to download onto my computer, I can easily replace it with the other! What was I thinking? Not thinking at all, apparently. As you may have been able to figure out from this blog, I like to take pictures. Here, I feel absolutely naked without my camera, especially when travelling. I came VERY close to turning around and going back home to get the memory stick. However, due to our late departure, I decided that would not be a good idea.

So, we continued on our journey, with me lamenting for awhile (sometimes out loud) about how I'd wished I had that bloody memory stick. Luckily, Deliwe is a patient soul and knows how to tune those things out, though from her initial reaction, I know she was also disappointed that we wouldn't be able to take any pics. So, we continue on down the highway, passing through the town of Liwonde (where Liwonde National Park is located), after which I remarked that the last time, I turned down the wrong road when we were looking for our accommodation, and remind Deliwe that she was right later on when she told me I should've gone straight. This will be highly significant later on.

We continue driving without incident for about another hour, when we reach the town of Balaka. Suddenly, something triggers in my brain when we come to this town. "Deliwe! We're in Balaka. Isn't that on the way to Lilongwe?" "I don't know," she replies. Then, I remember that Deliwe has never really been further than about 10 km. north of Domasi, so of course she wouldn't be familiar with the highways in this region. We then consult the (very bad) map of Malawi featured in my Bradt guide to Malawi that I bought in Washington, D.C. during my ELF training back in August. I was so happy to see a guide dedicated specifically to Malawi, that I immediately bought it, assuming it must be wonderfully accurate (That, and the inset quote by Michael Palin of Monty Python fame, who swears by Bradt guides. Mike wouldn't lie to me, now would he? After all my years of dedicated worship of his comedy troupe? NEVER!)

So, back to the story. The map was lousy (as was a different map in this book for the Liwonde region), because it makes the highway to Mangochi (which is where we were headed) appear to go straight, while the highway to Lilongwe (the M1, I believe--don't have the book on me right now, sorry) appears to make a left turn near Liwonde. Of course, I took this at face value, but then remembered that during my trips to Lilongwe, I never noticed the driver turning at all. It's pretty much a straight shot--- AAAARRRGH!). Problem number two. Shortly after this discovery, we did see a junction sign confirming we were headed north on the wrong highway. Deliwe, never being one to shy away from asking directions, confirmed this fact with a highway official standing at the side of the road (we were approaching a police checkpoint). The only way to correct this mistake was to turn around and head back south.

At this point, it was decision time. I turned to Deliwe, and I said, "Because of this mistake, we've lost about an hour. It's now approaching 5 p.m., and it will be dark by 6 p.m. I think maybe we should just head home, as finding our way in the dark might be very difficult, and very stressful." To this, Deliwe replied, "No, I think it'll be o.k. I can ask, and help us find it." Clearly, she was really set on this trip, and I was as well, but I didn't want to tempt fate, and the kharma just wasn't feeling right to me. So, I said, "Well, are you sure? At this rate, we're lucky if we get to Mangochi by 8 p.m., and then if we want to continue to the lake, the trip might be much longer." To which she replied, "No, it's o.k. We should go. We'll be o.k. I'll ask for directions. Don't worry." So, reluctantly, I agree to push on.

We continue down the road, back to Liwonde, where the nice official at the side of the road had assured us that the Mangochi turn off would be. See? I told you my comment upon passing through Liwonde would prove significant. At that point, I vaguely recalled people mentioning the "Mangochi Turn-off" before, but just never realized exactly where it was. Of course, at that point, I felt a bit homesick for the highly organized, signposted highways back home. There is rarely a question of which highway you're on, which direction you're going, which towns you'll find and how far away, as there are signs EVERYWHERE along the road, especially on the major highways. Ya, driving the American roads does not require much intelligence. Just a basic understanding of the English language, and you're set. But here, in Malawi, one must have the orientation skills of a skilled navigator, as signs are very scarce here. Luckily, there are few major highways, so the Malawians out there are probably having a good laugh at this idiotic Mzungu driving tale... There are literally only about 3 major highways in the southern region, so the fact that I took the wrong one is pretty amazing... however, this is me we're talking about, and unfortunately I inherited my father's sense of direction. Let's just say he was one of those typical men who never asked for directions, but always needed them... hence, we spent a few family trips taking long scenic drives to unknown destinations. I'm like that. The difference is, I'll stop and ask. This time, I made the very sorry mistake of not doing that sooner. AAARRRRGH!!

Moving on with the story now, we continue south to Liwonde, and lo and behold, there is a sign--in major disrepair, but legible enough. The Mangochi turnoff. I spot it, we turn left, and off we go. The road turns out to be generally smooth, with a few potholes here and there, and a short off-road diversion (which is somewhat common here) due to a section of road that is under repair. So far, so good. We continue on, and after the diversion, Deliwe suggests that we ask a man walking along the road about the distance to Mangochi. He proceeds to tell us it's about "one or two more hours." Of course, by now, it's after dusk, so I'm getting concerned. Wow, that's a big difference, I think... one or two more hourse? Which is it? We later realized he meant that it was one hour to Mangochi, and two hours to the lake. Ahhh. Unfortunately, we'd hoped to stay at a hotel on the lake, so this presented a potential problem for us.

Well, we'd committed to going ahead with this trip, so off we went. Eventually, we reached Mangochi (a little sooner than we expected, at around 7 p.m. So, things were looking up. As we came into town, I noticed a couple of Petrol (i.e. 'gas' for the 'Yanks') stations on the right, so decided to stop to fill up, just to be safe. I stopped at a place called 'Petroda', which is one of about 3 major gas stations in Malawi--the other two are Total and BP (i.e. British Petrol...ya, they mask that pretty well in the states...). I pull up, turn off the engine, get the gas, proceed to turn the key to start the engine, and that's when problem no. 3 arises... click click click click click!! Not gonna start... AAAAARRRGGHHH!!!

Of course, right away I remember the starter incident on the first day I drove my car. Ah! It's the starter again! I thought... Luckily, as usual, there were several men hanging around-- some employed there, but most not, willing to help out. Right away, they determined that it was the battery. Without getting into all the sordid details, after about 30 mins, they were able to take care of it by testing the car with another battery, and adding some fluid. However, despite the fact that I did have jumper-cables in the car, they never did use them... however, Deliwe believes they somehow charged my battery with the newer batter, though I'm still not sure exactly how they did so. This will prove to be important later.

On a sidenote, in the meantime, as we were waiting for the car, I noticed a guy with a small kitten. "Oh, a kitty!" I exclaimed excitedly, after which he told me he'd sell it to me for 500 kwacha (about 4 bucks). I immediately said I couldn't take a cat, but then after discussing it with Deliwe, who reminded me of the huge RAT living in our house, also saying she could keep and take care of the kitty after I left, we decided to take him... (See pix at left). In the end, the manager of the Petroda who helped us fix the battery, offered to give us the kitty on our way out of town on Sunday (which as you know now, turned out to be today, Saturday). So, we agreed, and off we went (again). (Oh, and another sidenote... we tested the car for about 4 km. before leaving to the hotel, and all seemed o.k. It stopped, and started without any trouble.)

After our adventure at Petroda, we decided to head down the road to the lake to find this hotel "Palm Beach Resort" we'd seen in the trusty Malawi travel guide. We'd been directed to another hotel by one of the Petroda guys (The Villa hotel), but it was booked, and cost about 3000 kwacha more than I wanted to pay. So, we headed off down the road toward Monkey Bay/Cape McClear (our final destination), but this hotel would be about halfway there. On the way out of Mangochi, Deliwe diligently asked a guy on the road for directions, and he asked if he could ride with us as we went. This is also a common occurrance here (as I may have mentioned before), and since there were two of us in the car, I agreed. Of course, he was a decent guy, and it was good to have some local company on an unknown road going to an unknown place in the dark, so we were happy to have him with us.

This road was not very nice at all... riddled with potholes, so it did take us close to a good half-hour to get to our destination. We dropped off our passenger, and came to the turn off to the "Palm Beach Resort" shortly afterwards. Of course, the road to the "resort" was a dirt road, but not too bad compared to some others, and meandered through a few villages towards the lake. We eventually arrived to see a dining room full of Mzungus, including this older guy Mike, whom I met through a Fulbright student named Kathleen about a month earlier. I'd also run into him by chance last weekend on our way back from Blantyre at a small restaurant in Zomba. I keep running into this guy in the funniest places, so of course we had to comment on that to each other.

Now, when I enter a hotel establishment and see only Mzungus in it, I know it must be expensive, so I was not thrilled at the sight. Sure enough, when I asked the British ex-pat owner the cost, it was over 2 times what my 'trusty' Malawi guidebook had said (DOH!-- another problem, Michael Palin!! Must give him a call...) She then went on to say, "Oh, I don't know where they get their information." But, in the end, did give us a 600 kwacha discount (about 5 bucks), which I guess was something. We also ended up eating a free buffet dinner. I'm not sure if it was meant to be free, but upon returning home today, I realized that we'd never been charged for it, but I doubt it was included in the price. If so, this was a first for me.

We ended up having a very nice meal, complete with a couple of glasses of complimentary South African red wine (I believe Cabernet, though this is not confirmed) offered to us by a very friendly Portuguese gentleman who was sitting at a table near us. Wow, a friendly Mzungu! Let's just say that's been rare for me here, especially among the upper-class traveling types. Very refreshing, and a much-needed alcohol boost, I must say. Of course, he did make the offer after we'd already started drinking beer, but nonetheless, I wasn't complaining!

After dinner, we strolled outside with our glasses of wine, walked out onto the sandy beach, and without hesitation, I kicked off my sandals and walked into the water. Shortly after doing so, however, I realized someone had mentioned that crocs live in the lake. For some reason, my pride still had the better of me, so I gently strolled out without saying anything at first (except to Deliwe), as all the Mzungus were also out on the beach having a drink and a chat. A bit later, I summoned the courage to ask the owner, who was sitting just behind us, if there were crocs in the lake... she confirmed there were, but that she had never actually seen one... Whew! Mixed blessing though, as there's always a first time for everything.

So, after one more beer and a bit of chatting with the Mzungus, who all turned out to be rather friendly (plus Mike came out, and we finally learned more about each other), Deliwe and I decided to 'turn in' for the night. After all, it was already 10 p.m., which is a good hour past her bedtime, and about average for me these days. (My friends back home are dying of shock, but it's true!)

After returning to the room, more disappointments crop up, as we realize there is no TV (no big deal, but considering the room rate, we thought we should have one), no air conditioning (not suprising, but again the cost), and the room was VERY hot... I even got up after trying to sleep for about 5 mins. to take a cold shower... only to realize the hot water heater switch had some malfunction, so I couldn't turn it off.. only warm to scalding hot water would come out... AAARRGGGHHH!! It just kept getting worse and worse. Of course, I did remember that we had a place to sleep and good food/drinks, so I wasn't completely upset at that point, just annoyed with the amount of money I'd agreed to pay for this place.

I eventually got up in the middle of the night (around 3 a.m.) sleepless due to the heat, and positioned my bed just under the ceiling fan, after wandering around the room and discovering that I could feel a breeze at a certain place, which ironically was not where the beds were positioned. Luckily, it was easy to move. I slept much better after that.

In the morning, Deliwe woke up at the crack of dawn as usual, and by the time I became conscious (around 7:30 a.m.-- ya, shocking to my friends and family), she was already headed out the door to the beach...I decide to get up, and take my shower, only to discover there's NO WATER! AAAARGH!! Did I really pay that much money??? I was determined to ask for a discount upon leaving (since of course I had not yet paid the bill). I ended up taking a pseudo-sponge bath at the sink, eventually running that out of water as well, getting everything packed, and schlepping the bags back to the car, beginning to feel that this trip is not meant to be. Stay tuned...

After putting the bags in the car, I stroll down to the beach, dip my feet in the water, and call Deliwe, who is actually hanging around with the locals up the beach 'a piece' (as my little sis Heather would say). Of course, who could blame her, with all these Mzungus around? So, I decide to head up in that direction, which looked much more interesting that our empty beach with one sunbather. On the beachfront just adjacent to us, there were several small boys casting and pulling in nets to catch small fish. It was really cool to see, but of course, I have no pictures. AAARRRGHH!! Ya, we'll have to come back (but not to 'Palm Beach,' no way!)

Of course, I see Deliwe, and we head up to the hotel for breakfast, which was just cereal and toast. The interesting bit there is that the woman who owns the place actually yelled at her elderly Malawian cook for cutting the toast in half. "Who can butter that?" She bitterly chastised him. I really wanted to yell, "I can! I can!" just to get her goat, but decided I may not want to enter that battle today. What a nasty person she turned out to be! If I can get a hold of Michael Palin, I'll be sure to tell him to get that bloody hotel out of that guide. What a way to treat your employees!! I was really shocked and disturbed. After bitterly scolding him, she turned to us and said, "I just don't know why, he insists on doing that, after I tell him time and again." I won't even go into how wrong it is for supervisors to treat matters like that in this manner. It's just wrong on so many levels. Let's just leave it at that.

So, at this point I decide I will ask for a discount, knowing I won't get one and that I might get yelled at. I, of course, decide to handle the matter very delicately, pointing out that the water was out this morning, and I couldn't get a shower, so is there any possibility of a discount? No, she says, "But you can go ahead and take one now," fully knowing that we'd planned to go up to Monkey Bay/ Cape McClear (about an hour away) after settling the bill. Whatever. You won't get my business anymore, and Michael Palin will know about this, and so will all my throngs of loyal Malawinme blog readers!! So THERE, Miss-high-falutin-crappy-hotel-owner-snobby-British-colonial-mentality-lived-here-for-17-years-n-too-good-to-learn-Chichewa-or-treat-employees-with-respect-old-rag! See if I care!!! AAAARRRGGHHH!!

OK, now I feel better. But, things got worse. I got in the car, and again... click,click,click,click.... no start. AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!!! Luckily, just before the bill-settling conversation, I'd also struck up a little chat with this South African couple we'd met briefly the night before, and they turned out to be quite friendly. After the (not so) lovely hotel owner tried to reach her mechanic and failed, the guy from SA (Craig) was kind enough to use the owner's car to give me a jump. Luckily, I'd had the presence of mind to buy jumper cables and tools shortly after buying the car (could it be the starter issue that prompted this? Hmmm...)

After jumping the car, Craig told us that the problem was that we hadn't driven long enough after the intitial charge last night to get the battery charged up enough. He suggested that after we drove into Monkey Bay, we find a 'battery charging' station (whatever that is) and try to get it charged there, and we should be fine. In the meantime, I'm very worried about my cash situation, as I've paid more than twice what I'd planned to pay for that bloody excuse for a hotel. My decision was made. Go back to Mangochi, pick up the kitty at Petroda, and head back home. Hopefully next weekend, leave earlier and head directly to Cape McClear, leaving this 'Palm Beach' excuse for a 'resort' in the dust.

I explained my feelings to Deliwe, who reluctantly agreed, but understood how I felt. So, here we are, back in town, but with a few more things we acquired along the way, in this order: a new kitty, a woven wastebasket, two nSima flour baskets, 4 huge chambo fish, a woven mat to sit on outside (can you tell there's lots of weaving going on in the Mangochi region?), and today's newspaper. Let's just say we made up for our weekend vacation cut short by picking up a few items at the side of the road. The kitty rode on my left shoulder, alternately whining and sleeping the entire time... Should be an interesting week!

Watch for pictures of our kitty, fish, and some more suprises mawa!! Tiwonana!!