Stopped by COPS!

Ya, it's true. They finally got me. I've been runnin from them for years, and this time, they won. When looking at my travel/living overseas record, not many people realize there may be "another reason" I move around so much. Ya, runnin from the 'law'. Well, the 'law' finally caught up with me today on my way out of Zomba after my class at Chancellor College ('Chanco'). I was leisurely driving down the road, minding my own business (after an interesting lone trip to the market-my first!), and they asked me to pull over. Now, I've learned that in Malawi, routine traffic stops on the major highways and roads are a common thing, so of course I didn't even flinch. I just pulled over the car, greeted the nice female police officer with my usual 'Mwa Swayla Bwangee' (i.e. 'Good evening, how are you?'), and she returned the greeting in the usual polite way.

After that, the politeness stopped. She asked for my drivers' license (which of course is still from New York state, but that doesn't seem to bother the law here). She took a quick look at it, and then proceeded to ask me for my 'triangle plates.' "Triangle Plates, what are those?" I innocently asked. "You don't know what triangle plates are?" she said with a sly grin. "No, I'm sorry, I don't. Could you tell me?" She then gave a 'look' to her colleague. (I'm guessing it was an 'oh, not another clueless 'mzungu' look--ya, it's mzungu, not muzungu... I just learned the correct spelling from one of my most faithful Malawian readers, Limbika... Thanks!). After giving the 'look,' she turned to me and said, "Those are the triangle-shaped plates you put around your car when you have a break-down on the road (like 'traffic cones' in the U.S., but much smaller, and shaped like those 'slow moving vehicle' signs the Amish use on the backs of their buggies), so that people are alerted to drive around your vehicle." "Oh, yes!" I enthusiastically replied, "I've seen them on the highway. Do I need them now?" (Ya, I wasn't quite getting it yet.) "Yes. You are under violation. You must have them in your car at all times, in case you have a breakdown. It's 'the law'." (Now, I'm not sure if she really said that last part, but I like the sound of it, so I added it, American 'cop show' style...

Of course, I had a perfect defense-- complete and utter ignorance. So, of course, I used it. "I'm sorry. I wasn't aware that I needed those plates. It's never been explained to me." "How long have you been in Malawi?" was her reply. "I came in early September, but I've only had the car for about two weeks." "I see," she said. She then proceeded to walk around to the passenger side of the vehicle (the left side... ya, we're on the left side of the road, remember?) to discuss the matter with her colleague, of course in Chichewa.

Now, at this point I'm thinking maybe they're expecting a bribe (a 'beca', as it's called in Mexico). This is when a cop stops you, usually in a developing country, cites you for some minor offense, and expects you to pay him off to let you go. I really didn't want to pay them off, and I wasn't sure whether that is a common practice here (though I'd be willing to bet that it is), so I just continued with the 'ignorant mzungu' act-- which really wasn't an act at all, as I pretty much qualify as an ignorant mzungu. So, my conscience is clear. In the end, it served me well. The policewoman let me go, saying, "make sure you buy the triangle plates right away, as the next time we'll have to take you to court." "Really?" I replied in shock. "This is really serious, huh?" "Yes," she said with a wry smile. "Where can I buy these plates?" I asked. "At any shop. Just go to a shop and ask someone, and they'll help you to find them." OK, now it was obvious to me that she really thought I was mentally challenged. But, eventually I got it. I'll be shopping for the plates tomorrow, hopefully before hitting the next 'cop stop.'

Oh, and as a sidenote, I think the favorable outcome might've been a bit of good kharma coming back my way, as I actually gave another nice lady cop a ride to the courthouse with an offender a couple of days ago. I stopped at one of the checkpoints, and instead of trying to cite me for some minor offense, she asked me for a ride. Well, I couldn't say 'no' to a cop, could I? So, I agreed, and she got into the front, while the alleged offender got into the back. Poor guy. I just helped her to take him to court, probably for not having the bloody triangle thingies in his trunk. That probably brought on some bad kharma, too. But this time, the good kharma won out. We'll see how long it lasts. As usual, I'll keep you posted. Tiwonana mawa!